Wired Chemistry
by mikoto lee
Summary: A series of phone conversations between our favorite Hey Arnold characters.


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Wired Chemistry  
By mikotolee

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Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold. I wish I did.

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Arnold calls Helga

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_Apprehension._

_That was something new to me. It was something that I haven't felt by simply dialing a phone number and listening to the incessant ringing. _

CLICK

"Hello?"

"Whaddya want?" A gruff voice that belonged to no other than one of the bullish businessmen in downtown New York answered.

"Good evening, Mr. Pataki. May I please speak with Helga?"

"Who the hell are you?"

"It's Arnold, sir."

"Just a sec."

BAM

_And I blink. I can only assume that Mr. Pataki dropped the phone somewhere as his muffled voice continued to drift through the receiver._

"Hey Olga, some guy named Alfred is on the phone! Get your butt in here pronto!"

"Geeze, hold your horses Dad! And its Helga. H-E-L-G-A! Helga!"

"Got it! Now give me the remote, Olga."

"Whatever BOB!"

_Her voice answered quite politely and sounding little bit out of breath._

"Hello?"

"Hi Helga."

_And all the pleasantries fly out of the window._

"Whaddya want Football head?"

"I was just wondering if I can borrow your notes for Chemistry class. I...uh...kinda lost mine..."

_I really hate stammering...especially in front of her._

"Sheesh! It's more like you hadn't made any notes."

"What do you mean?"

"Well doi, Captain Obvious? As if half the class doesn't see you making googly eyes at little miss perfect!"

_I roll my eyes at this comment. Why does everyone think I am still hung up over that girl? _

"I wasn't making googly eyes at Lila, Helga."

"Whatever, bucko. Can I hang up now?"

"Wait! What about the notes Helga?"

"Borrow Tall-Hair Boy's instead!"

"I can't! Gerald is flunking Chemistry and his notes are a complete mess!"

"Not my problem is it?"

_Well technically, it is._

"Helga, we're supposed to be lab partners remember?"

"So when did that make me your secretary?"

"Why are you ALWAYS like this!"

_Always is the right word_.

"Like what , bucko!"

"Difficult! You're always being so difficult!"

_Yes. I found it difficult to actually say that. _

"So what!"

"Fine. Whatever. Can I just have the notes please."

"Fine. Whatever."

CLICK

_As the dial-tone buzzed in my ear, I swear I'll never understand that girl._

* * *

Arnold calls Helga again

* * *

"Who the hell is it this time?"

_I repress the sigh that was about to escape my lips. _

"Good evening, Mr Pataki. It's me Arnold. I..."

"What's the problem with you, Alfred?"

_I blink. Even despite through the years, this man still manages to disconcert me by being so direct._

"Nothing sir...I just..."

"Good. So stop bugging me and let me watch my wrestling in peace."

CLICK

"Hello?"

_And there's the dial-tone again._

* * *

Gerald calls Arnold

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"Hello? You have reached Sunset Arms. This is Phil speaking."

_I turn on the charm. Not that I'd like to actually charm the old man...I just like being charming all the time._

"Hi! Can I talk with Arnold?"

"Just a moment please."

"Hey shortman, phone for you!"

"Thanks grandpa. Hello? Helga listen I'm sorry I..."

_Helga? Oh man...this doesn't sound like good news to me._

"Whoa. Whoa! Hold on a minute man! It's me Gerald!"

"Oh Gerald. Sorry. I thought..."

"I was Helga. Gee man wassup? You sound a little off."

_I just love stating the obvious._

"Nothing much. Just that Helga and I were fighting once again."

_Again, doesn't really count Arnold. You've been fighting like ever since you laid your eyes on each other._

"What else is new?"

"I just wish she can be nice to me for once in her life! I don't even know what the hell I've done to make her hate me!"

_And there he goes again. If I don't change the topic now, I'm sure I'm in for one of those Helga conversations._

"Whoa calm down man. Take a deep breath... Good. Now did you get her notes."

"Fine. Whatever."

"WHAT?"

"That's what she said. Fine. Whatever."

"She said that when..."

"GERALD. That's what she said when I was asking for her notes!'

_Fine. Whatever. What is it with women and one liners?_

"Oh. So she said yes huh! That's good man! Coz I can't get Phoebe to lend me hers. Geeze...we've been together for around four years now and the woman doesn't want to lend me her school notes!"

"Come on, Gerald does that sound like a yes to you?"

"Yeah. Fine. Whatever. sounds like she gave up."

"Its either that or its... Fine. Whatever. Get lost."

"Toughie man. Its Helga Pataki, after all."

"I know. Sigh... Can you be my lab partner instead?"

"Hell no!"

"Thanks a lot best friend."

"That's not what I mean, Arnold! I mean look at me, I'm not exactly getting the best grades for Chemistry. If we stuck together we have a lower chance of passing this thing."

"I know. But why Helga? Why not Lila, instead?"

"One. Lila wouldn't want you to get near her with a ten foot pole."

"Come on, Gerald its not THAT bad!"

"Yeah yeah, I'm kidding dude. Seriously, if you got stuck with Lila you'll just end up being goofy and she'll give you that I'm sorry I don't like you, like you speech. And you'll be broken hearted and flunk a lot more than I am."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Two. It was a random draw. Higgins just drew the partner list from nowhere!"

"Why Helga?"

_There really must be something cosmically wrong with Arnold since practically all the time, the fates pair him up with that crazy chick._

"Why bother asking questions that you won't have answers to? Look, honestly man you are lucky to be with Helga."

"Are my ears deceiving me, Gerald? Or did you just say I was lucky to be partnered with Helga?"

_I can't believe I just said that. Hmmm...must be from hanging around with her best friend._

"You heard me right, dude, even if she is a royal pain in the ass. Other than, Phoebe, Helga is one of the smartest girls in class. That's a real plus point specially with group projects. And majority of the lab work ARE group projects. Look at how Sid and me

are coping by!"

"Can it just be with anyone else?"

"Better Helga than anyone else. If the going get tough just let Helga do the work."

"I can't do that, Gerald! That wouldn't be fair!"

"And what she does to you is?"

"Fine. Whatever."

"Whoa boy...you better get some sleep. Do I detect a hint of Pataki in you? Hahaha!"

"Bye Gerald."

"See you tomorrow, Arnold! Oh yeah...can I borrow Helga's notes from you tomorrow?"

"How do you even know she said yes!"

"Just a gut feeling."

_And I know women._

"Whatever. See you, Gerald."

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Helga calls Phoebe

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"Moshi Moshi?"

"Konichiwa, Hyerdal-san. May I speak with Phoebe, please?"

"No problem, Helga. Hmm...your Japanese seems to be picking up a bit."

"Domo Arigatou."

_Must be all that anime I'm watching these days._

"Just a minute, Helga."

"Phoebe! Phone for you! It's Helga!"

"I was just about to call you!"

_Uh-oh. She has that tone again. What did Geraldo do this time?_

"Wha? What's up, Pheebs?"

"Can you believe it!"

"What? You're not making any sense to me?"

"Gerald, just called to ask for my notes! The guy doesn't even bother staying awake in class and he expects me to hand over my notes just because I'm his girlfriend!"

_Figures._

"Whoa...whoa...calm down. Pheebs."

"I'm sorry Helga. Anyway, what I can do for you?"

"I just wanted to rant on how Arnold tried to do the same thing?"

"Arnold! Seriously?"

_Yes Arnold. Mr. Nice Guy Himself doesn't have study notes._

"Yep, The guy just called over to ask me for my notes as well."

"Arnold is supposed to be a good student. I can imagine that kind of behaviour from Gerald, but not Arnold."

"Yeah well, with little miss perfect being in the same class as he is in, anything can happen."

"I'm sorry Helga."

_What? Where did that come from!_

_Okay...maybe I know where..._

"Sorry? For what?"

"I know you like, Ice Cream alot."

"Crimeny! How many times do I have to tell you that I'm over Ice Cream a loooooong time ago!"

_Yep and if I keep on repeating that to myself, until the day I die, I'll probably come true._

"Ok then. Why does it seem to bother you that he is giving a lot of attention to Lila?"

"It's not bothering me! What's bothering me is that football head will make me flunk Chem lab!"

"Oh come on, Helga. You know Arnold isn't exactly dim."

_I had to roll my eyes at the ceiling after that statement._

"Are you sure? Last time I checked he was as dense as a tree top."

"I meant dim as in academically."

"Yeah right. At the rate he's drooling at little miss muffet, I'll end up doing all the work!"

"Well, at least you're with him right?"

_Sigh._

"Pheebs...I told you that..."

"Yes you are over ice cream."

_I have to get out of this line of conversation. And I know what better way to do it than by introducing Phoebe's favorite topic. _

"Moving on. What's with Geraldo anyway?"

"Same old! I don't lend him my notes since I want him to take initiative and start writing on his empty notebook!"

"What's up with the notebook borrowing all of a sudden, anyway?"

"Sigh, Helga don't tell me you weren't paying attention too."

"No. I was too busy trying to restrain myself from strangling that football headed creep!"

"Well. Professor Higgins, just announced that there will be a big exam on Friday."

"Group one?"

"No individual one."

"Oh shit! That means I have to study too! Argggh!"

_That stupid, Arnold! This is all his fault!_

"Don't worry about it Helga. I'm pretty sure you'll do well."

"Lemme guess, you're done studying for it already haven't you?"

"I already begun studying, Helga. Considering that I don't feel like talking to Gerald right now."

"So what are you going to do about Gerald?"

"Sigh. I think I'll probably end up tutoring him again tomorrow."

"Hehehe... So that's what you guys call it these days!"

"Helga!"

"Just kidding, Pheebs!"

"What are you going to do about Arnold?"

"I dunno. Let him flunk?"

_As if I actually could._

"Really now?"

"Why can't I be lab partners with anyone but him! Uh...Him and Lila anyway!"

"You're still better off than me. I got Eugene!"

_Oh yeah. I forgot that getting stuck with Eugene is a fate worst than death._

"Oh man... Do you want to borrow a radioactive suit for that?"

"I wish. I'm so paranoid he'll drip or break or trip or bounce or..."

"I get the hint. I'm really sorry about that Pheebs."

"It's really no big deal. I just have to glare at him and tell him not to touch ANYTHING."

"Heh. Don't bet on it."

"Sigh...I know."

"You'll be all right, Pheebs! Just holler if you want me to save you from that walking accident. A dose of 'ol besty should keep him out cold while you do your work."

"Thanks Helga!"

"Anyway, Bob is giving me the evil eye. Gotta go before I get one of those perfect-Olga never hung around the phone for hours speeches. Nice chatting with you Pheebs! Good night!"

"Good night, Helga. I'll see you tomorrow!"

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A/N: Hi! Hope you guys like this short fanfic I thought of. Its actually based on a book by R L Stine called "Phonecalls". I intend this series to be a bunch of unrelated phone conversations between the gang during their high school years. Well its really

more of a break for me when I get that case of writers block. This piece of fic is quite different from the way I usually write. I was just inspired to write something quickly.

The format was supposed to be something like a chat log but then after reading the Terms and Conditions for I decided to alter it a little so I won't get deleted. The stuff italics was actually what was going on my mind as I read the transcript again.

I would like to apologize for the massive delay my other fanfic, "Beyond the Distant Sky". I feel so tired and uninspired to write after I get home work. Anyway, Chapter 3 is already 70 complete so expect it to be out by next month or earlier. That chapter is getting to be too long for my taste but I hope you peeps will like it.


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